Do you know what it’s like to be one kilo lighter than you actually are? Do you know what it’s like to rappel backwards down a cascading waterfall? Do you know what it’s like to try and explain what an “idiom” is in a language other than English? Or to have so many sand flies biting you at the one time that you just give up and yell “come at me, bro!”? No? Well, not to worry, while this isn’t a repeat of a classic 90’s rap song by Everlast (pause to appreciate that 90’s reference), I will be explaining all these phenomena and more in a journey that takes us across the Ecuadorean altiplano and deep into the Amazon jungle.